Stupid Fish and Other Tales of Death and Woe

Friday, March 7, 2008

This is the winter of my discontent. This post will most likely seem scattershot and lacking in segue. This is likely because my brain is currently being boiled with a liberal dash of cold virus. The steam is trapped inside my head, as my plugged sinuses offer it nowhere to escape. Thus, explosion may occur. If I suddenly stop in midsentence, you'll know why.

Now like I was saying, this week

Ha ha, I'm so witty.

Our fish died today. We had him for five days. He was an idiot. I attribute this to his fishness.

He was a betta that we never got around to naming. Names such as "Mediocrites" and "Idiot Fish" got thrown around, but nothing really stuck. He didn't like to eat, which is probably why he is dead. He was too dumb to even die right...instead of floating belly-up, like normal fish, he buried his head in the rocks at the bottom of his vase. And there he is...head on the bottom, like a moron.

Stupid fish.

As for me, I am taking a reluctant day off. I don't like being idle...there's always something I can do, and not doing any of it just makes me really nervous. But I can't focus enough to make something happen, so I'm trying to just let it go. My wife is lovely and accommodating and made me a pitcher of juice. This makes her wonderful. As do other things, but cranberry juice is high on the list for the moment.

Tragically, while trying to relax, I tried to play a video game. That wasn't the tragedy. The tragedy was that all of my video gaming implements are at a friend's house and I have none. Thus, no games for me. Sadness and woe.

My goal with this post is to depress the world. I'll be paying attention to liquor sales. If there's a spike...I will consider my job done.

May you all not get sick.